This article is about one of the toughest lessons in entrepreneurship: learning to accept that you're not for everyone. And that this is not a weakness, but rather the foundation of a strong brand and a healthy business.
Recently, I was approached by a webshop owner. She had had an email exchange with a potential customer who asked so many questions, hesitated for so long, and ultimately was so dissatisfied with the answer, that she wondered if she had done something wrong. "Did I not try hard enough? Should I have explained more? Maybe I should have offered a discount?"
My answer: no. Some people are simply not your customer, and that's perfectly fine.
It might sound a bit harsh when you're just starting out, or when every order still feels like a victory. But after years of seeing webshops grow and sometimes falter, I can say with certainty: the entrepreneurs who last the longest are not the ones who try to please everyone. They are the entrepreneurs who know who they ARE for.
The reflex to say "yes"
As an entrepreneur, it's in your system to seize opportunities. Every question can become a sale, every visitor a customer. You don't want to be difficult. You want to help. You want to show that you are there for your target audience.
But here's where it goes wrong: your target audience is not "everyone who happens to land on your webshop."
I see it happen often. A webshop starts with a clear idea, a distinct style, a specific target audience. And then the first difficult customers arrive. The discount-seekers. The endless emailers with questions you've already answered three times. The people who return items too often. And slowly but surely, the entrepreneur begins to adapt the offering. More products, lower prices, a friendlier tone of voice, free shipping, even more explanation on the product page.
The result? A webshop that no longer truly stands for anything. A brand that wants to be for everyone so badly, that it no longer feels special to anyone.
The wrong customer costs you more than they bring in
Let's be clear about what a 'wrong' customer actually costs you. Not just in money, but in energy, time, and focus.
You know them. The customer who emails three times before ordering, then still calls with a question, then returns the item because "it wasn't quite what I was looking for," and a week later files another complaint because the return "took too long." And yes, you handle it correctly. But in the meantime, you've spent two hours on someone who perhaps generated €35 in revenue and will likely never return.
Meanwhile, in those same two hours, you could have worked on a newsletter for your loyal customers. Or on that new collection you've been working on for months. Or just taken a breath, so you start your next workday refreshed.
The wrong customer devours energy, and energy is finite. Period.
Repelling also attracts
Here's the paradox that many entrepreneurs struggle with: by repelling some people, you actually attract the right people.
Suppose you sell handmade ceramics. Not cheap, but special. You can fill your product pages with apologies: "Yes, it's more expensive than IKEA, but here's why…" You can run discount campaigns to make the price "more acceptable." You can lower your prices until you break even.
Or you can say: this is what it costs, this is why, and this is who it's for.
That second approach feels daring. Because you're excluding people. But you're excluding the right people. The people who would never be satisfied anyway. The people who would leave at the first promotion from a competitor. The people who don't appreciate your work for what it is.
And in the meantime, you attract the people who are looking for exactly what you offer. Who don't see your prices as 'expensive', but as fair. Who become fans, come back, and recommend you to others.
How do you know who IS your customer?
This might all sound good in theory. But how do you determine who your ideal customer is?
It doesn't start with demographics. Not with 'women between 25 and 45 with an interest in interiors'. It starts with values.
Ask yourself: what do I stand for with my brand? What do I find important? Sustainability? Quality over quantity? Personal service? Unique design? Fair production?
And then ask yourself: who shares those values? Who actively seeks that out? Who is willing to pay a little more for it, or wait a little longer?
THAT is your customer.
Not everyone who could buy your product. But everyone who should buy your product.
Stating what you are not for
One of the most powerful things you can do as a brand is to state what you are NOT for.
You don't need to include lengthy disclaimers. But your tone, your visual language, your pricing, your communication style: it all says something. And it can certainly be clear.
If you sell sustainable children's clothing, you don't have to apologize for not being fast fashion. If you sell premium skincare, you don't have to compete with the drugstore. If you sell handmade jewelry, you don't have to explain why you don't offer 24-hour shipping.
Be clear. Be honest. And trust that the right people will appreciate that.
What this means for your growth
Here's the part that sometimes makes entrepreneurs nervous. Because if you don't accept everyone as a customer, will you still grow?
The short answer: yes. But differently than you might think.
You don't grow by volume. You grow by value. By customers who return. By customers who recommend you. By customers who follow you, open, click, buy and buy again. THAT is sustainable growth. Not hundreds of one-time buyers you attracted through a discount campaign and never hear from again.
A smaller customer base of the right people is worth more than a large customer base of just anyone. Not only in revenue, but also in job satisfaction, in peace of mind, in space to further build your brand.
The liberation of saying no
I often hear it from entrepreneurs who have taken this step. It feels like a relief. No longer bending to every complaint. No longer defending your prices. No longer explaining why you don't do what the competitor does. Simply: this is who we are, this is what we offer, and this is who it's for.
It's not arrogance. It's not a lack of customer focus. It's quite the opposite: you are so customer-focused that you only serve the customers you can truly help well, and you confidently leave the rest to others.
Long story short
Not everyone has to be your customer. In fact: not everyone should be your customer.
That might sound scary. But it's the foundation of every strong brand. A brand that stands for something. A brand that dares to choose. A brand that is not for everyone, but is exactly right for the right people.
And those right people? They recognize that. They appreciate that. They stay.
🔥 Do you want to discover who your ideal customer is and how to align your entire brand with them? With a brand masterplan, we lay your solid foundation: from mission, vision, core values to target audience and tone of voice. The foundation for the positioning of your brand to branding to webshop. So you attract exactly the customers who fit you. Take a look around or schedule a brief introduction.
